So This Is Heartbreak

So This is Heartbreak | Heartache and the healing power of the breakup haircut | Lifestyle | Blonde Sartorial | A Millennial Fashion & Lifestyle Blog

Coco Chanel once said, “A woman who changes her hair is about to change her life”. Maybe that’s why so many of us decide to get the chop when we’re experiencing heartache. It’s an obvious way to show the world we’re ready to start over and also harnesses a hell of a lot of healing power. The heartbreak haircut is a coping mechanism. It’s a lot like the idea of ‘dressing yourself happy’ even if you’re feeling completely lost or sad. There’s also the metaphorical lightness that comes with chopping the lengths of your hair, almost like getting rid of dead weight and becoming freer and more energised. And, above all, a new look can offer a much-needed confidence boost, something I felt an intense need for following a recent rejection.

About a month ago, I found out the person I love had entered a new relationship. We’d never been in a relationship ourselves but I was (and, to a certain extent, still am) devastated nonetheless. Over the past two years, we’d spent a lot of time together. We’ve got a lot in common. He’s kind and hard-working and driven and everything I could ever hope for in a partner. The thought of him loving somebody else the way I love him makes my head spin, my heart ache and my stomach drop. For the first time in my 24 years on Earth, I’m heartbroken and don’t quite know what to do. He’s done nothing wrong. I often wish he had so I could be angry and getting over things could be somewhat easier. Regardless, I’m determined to do so.

In light of my first experience with heartbreak, I did what any young woman in need of a pick-me-up would do. I booked the soonest available hair appointment at Andrew Collinge and had three inches chopped off, the heaviness taken out of the ends and shape added to frame my face. I then had it styled in loose waves for a sophisticated, ‘model-off-duty’ look. And while I was at it, I had an Olaplex treatment and invested in a new haircare regime to keep my heavily highlighted tresses in tip-top condition.

Then, with the newfound confidence this heartbreak haircut inspired, I donned my cutest summer dress (styled with a boxy-fit Levis denim trucker jacket and white Air Force 1s) and hopped on a train down to London to tell him exactly how I felt. A bold move, I know. I’d hinted at my feelings for him before but never explicitly said, “I love you” to his face. I don’t know whether it was a last ditch effort to make him change his mind or simply a notion that had always been there but got catapulted to the front of my mind when I learnt of his change in relationship status, but I felt an overwhelming need to tell him how much he meant to me and that’s exactly what I did.

I’ll cut a long tear-filled story – promptly followed by comfort shopping at Brandy Melville and comfort eating at Doughnut Time – short. He rejected me. Regardless of his feelings towards his current partner, he just doesn’t see me as more than a friend. It sucks. Hard. But, I honestly feel better knowing I’ve followed my heart and have been honest with both myself and him. So now I’m taking time away from it all to heal.

One day, I want to be friends again (the thought of someone so wonderful not being in my life at all is unbearable) but not while the pain is so raw. So, in the meantime, I’m practising some good old self-care. I’ve been taking baths in my favourite lavender bath oil by Kiehl’s, going for long walks to clear my mind when the weather allows it and watching Sex and the City reruns to my heart’s content. I’ve always fancied myself as a bit of a Carrie Bradshaw. Maybe he just isn’t my Mr. Big.

Featured image by Josh Loe.

2 Comments

  1. Oda Knutson
    August 13, 2019 / 3:56 pm

    Yes. Well. Next! Shopping therapy always helps me.
    Perhaps next time be open about your feelings earlier.
    Learn and move on.

    • blondesartorial
      Author
      August 15, 2019 / 10:07 pm

      Retail therapy is the best therapy!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *